And, unlike my 18-year-old peers, I'm not bringing the whole family with me.
I can picture it now; we'd be walking along, I'd be trying to navigate the construction sites on campus to tell them what they were looking at, they'd have questions of all sorts... It would be fabulous.
I: And there's the clock tower. It chimes every 15 minutes.
Kids: Can we go up in it?
I: No, it's closed for repairs right now.
Chad: Do you want to find your classes?
I: Yeah. Denise was figuring out where they are.
Denise: We need to go this way (points & starts walking in the correct direction).
Dad: I want to go up in the tower.
Kids: Can I see the map now?
I: (Handing over a map) You can't; it's closed right now because they are fixing the A/C.
Mum: Do you need to go take care of your financial aid?
Chad: No, let me see the map! (Takes it from the kids.)
I: No, Chad & I already did that.
Dad: Like hell it is! I'm paying for you to go to school here! I'm going to go see it.
I: No, you aren't.
Chad: We're paying for her to go to school here.
Dad: Oh, yeah.
Mum: Well, do your dad & I need to go talk to them?
I: To whom?
Mum: The financial aid people.
I: No, it's taken care of.
Mum: Do you need to give them our information?
I: No, I'm too old to need that.
Billy: Where's the beer?
I: There isn't any on campus. Moving right along... over here is the--
Jennie: Half the students are underage! They can't sell beer.
Mum: Are you sure? I brought our financial information along in case you would need it.
I: I'm over 24, and they only need parental information for people under 24. So it's okay.
Grandma: Susan, let your mom help you!
Dad: Isn't that the tower where that guy shot all those people in the '60s?
I: Yes, Dad, well remembered. Grandma, it's not me, it's the federal government.
Grandma: I don't want you to go to school here if people get shot all the time!
I: No, Grandma, it was just that one time. They have better security now.
Mum: So you don't need us to do anything.
I: You can buy lunch.
Dad: I'm going in to tell them I'm going up to see the tower. (Marches off.)
Mum: Should we wait around to see if he gets arrested?
Jennie: Where's Denise?
(Denise is already at the building she started walking toward five minutes ago.)
I: There she is.
Should you think I am exaggerating, please remember that it took this family four hours to decide to have a Memorial Day picnic. Yeah, that's what it would be like.
Maybe the whole tour can finish up here & we can pose for a picture, after we have a good argument about who will hold the camera.