What are we talking about today?

I'll get back to theme days once I find a groove of posting regularly. In the meantime, most of my posts are about some variation of books, bikes, buses, or Broadway. Plus bits about writing, nonprofits, and grief from time to time.

This blog is mostly lighthearted and pretty silly. It's not about the terrible things happening in the world, but please know that I'm not ignoring those things. I just generally don't write about them here.

06 June 2011

You Might Be A Runner If...

So, these do go around (great job, Jeff Foxworthy!). I've collected a few of my favourites here.

1. If you use the words "easy" and "six miles" in the same sentence... you might be a runner.

2. If you've ever grabbed Body Glide instead of deodorant and decided it was no big deal... you might be a runner.

3. If you've done the opposite and totally freaked out... you might be a runner.

4. If you think a shower without a run preceding it is a waste of time... you might be a runner.

5. If you've ever lost a toenail and then shown your foot to people with pride... you might be a runner.

6. If you are comfortable discussing bowel movements with complete strangers... you might be a runner.

7. If you can convert kilometers to miles and back again in your head... you might be a runner.

8. If you know what PR, PB, PPM, BQ, AG, and GU are, but are a bit fuzzy on all other abbreviations... you might be a runner.

9. If you've ever ingested Vaseline by mistake, thinking it was Gu... you might be a runner with an eyesight problem.

10. If you have ever spent 30 minutes discussing shoes with your friends, and you're a man... you might be a runner.

11. If you know where every public restroom is in a 5-mile radius from your house... you might be a runner.

12. If you're an adult woman and you've peed on the side of the road... you might be a runner.

13. If your medicine cabinet is stocked with baby aspirin, ibuprofen, and Ben-Gay and you aren't a senior citizen... you might be a runner.

14. If you have a speech of reprimand prepared for anyone who asks, "How long is this marathon?"... you might be a runner.

15. If you know the exact mileage on your shoes, but not your car... you might be a runner.

16. If you think Gatorade and GU are food groups... you might be a runner.

17. If you can eat your entire weight in pasta... you might be a runner.

18. If you judge the quality of a race based on how many days you were limping afterwards... you might be a runner.

19. If you send a picture of your new jogging stroller to family and friends to announce your pregnancy... you might be a runner.

20. If you've been smiling and nodding at these... you are DEFINITELY a runner!!

So, what did I miss?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know where ALL the bathrooms are and I am definitely NOT a runner (except when I'm in a hurry for one of those bathrooms).

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

I am not enough of a runner to have DONE all these things, but I'm enough of a runner to recognize how perfect this humor is! Well done!

erica and christy said...

I have no idea what language this post was written in. I'll have to call Christy (who is a runner)!
erica

erica and christy said...

erica just passed word of this post along to me! i nodded and giggled quite a bit! (i don't have a jogging stroller, but maybe i'll get one for my third...due in december! shhh! i haven't announced it yet!) now i'm going to copy and paste your link for this post in an email to my running friends! :0) and again, your comment on our blog cracked me up! christy

Mrs. Harvey said...

This was great! Might need to print this on a t-shirt...

Su said...

@mybabyjohn: LOL!

@Susanna: I've never confused Body Glide & deodorant, nor Vaseline & Gu, and I don't have a jogging stroller. Otherwise, I think I've hit all of them.

@erica: I've worked hard for the past few years to learn this language. ;)

@christy: Yay, jogging strollers! You're going to be one of those über-fit women who blow past me at races. ;) And thanks for sharing the link!

@Mrs. Harvey: GREAT idea!