I really wish I could write an appropriate, touching, rational post about Friday's horror. I'm afraid I can't do it. Not because I don't have words-- I have plenty. But because words won't help, and they're all being said already, by everyone.
I also wish I could express the frustration I felt as my Twitter feed scrolled down my screen Friday morning. None of the arguments that sprung up, none of the tears shed, none of the "in remembrance" pictures that are circulating will bring back what we had on Thursday. I hope the tears and words and prayers can bring some help to the families as they heal. But as I lay in bed Friday night, all I could think was, "What do you do after you've lost a child? How do you even take your next breath?" I don't know the answer to that, and I hope to God that I never find out.
After a quick Google search, I found two organizations where you can help, if you are able: a school support fund through the United Way, and a private memorial fund. If neither of those work for you, here's the CNN article with more organizations.
I pause today to share this because I want everyone to know that when I resume posting my usual nonsense (tomorrow), it's not because I've forgotten or don't care. How could I not? Part of me making sense of my world is to write down what I'm thinking. And I could go on posting, day after day, about the senselessness of a school attack, as I'm sure we all could. But that's a short road to bitterness, to fear, to never leaving my house again. I won't let one madman have that much space in my head; he already has more than I wanted to give him. Than any of us wanted to give him. May God bless the families in Newtown. May they know that we all stand beside them.
Please, share whatever you'd like.
What are we talking about today?
I used to have theme days. I've stopped doing that for now. My husband died in February and I'm trying to find a new normal. You'll probably read some sad stuff here for a while, mixed in with my usual ranting about bicycles and buses and books. I like 'B' words.