So, these do go around (great job, Jeff Foxworthy!). I've collected a few of my favourites here.
1. If you use the words "easy" and "six miles" in the same sentence... you might be a runner.
2. If you've ever grabbed Body Glide instead of deodorant and decided it was no big deal... you might be a runner.
3. If you've done the opposite and totally freaked out... you might be a runner.
4. If you think a shower without a run preceding it is a waste of time... you might be a runner.
5. If you've ever lost a toenail and then shown your foot to people with pride... you might be a runner.
6. If you are comfortable discussing bowel movements with complete strangers... you might be a runner.
7. If you can convert kilometers to miles and back again in your head... you might be a runner.
8. If you know what PR, PB, PPM, BQ, AG, and GU are, but are a bit fuzzy on all other abbreviations... you might be a runner.
9. If you've ever ingested Vaseline by mistake, thinking it was Gu... you might be a runner with an eyesight problem.
10. If you have ever spent 30 minutes discussing shoes with your friends, and you're a man... you might be a runner.
11. If you know where every public restroom is in a 5-mile radius from your house... you might be a runner.
12. If you're an adult woman and you've peed on the side of the road... you might be a runner.
13. If your medicine cabinet is stocked with baby aspirin, ibuprofen, and Ben-Gay and you aren't a senior citizen... you might be a runner.
14. If you have a speech of reprimand prepared for anyone who asks, "How long is this marathon?"... you might be a runner.
15. If you know the exact mileage on your shoes, but not your car... you might be a runner.
16. If you think Gatorade and GU are food groups... you might be a runner.
17. If you can eat your entire weight in pasta... you might be a runner.
18. If you judge the quality of a race based on how many days you were limping afterwards... you might be a runner.
19. If you send a picture of your new jogging stroller to family and friends to announce your pregnancy... you might be a runner.
20. If you've been smiling and nodding at these... you are DEFINITELY a runner!!
So, what did I miss?
I know where ALL the bathrooms are and I am definitely NOT a runner (except when I'm in a hurry for one of those bathrooms).
ReplyDeleteI am not enough of a runner to have DONE all these things, but I'm enough of a runner to recognize how perfect this humor is! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what language this post was written in. I'll have to call Christy (who is a runner)!
ReplyDeleteerica
erica just passed word of this post along to me! i nodded and giggled quite a bit! (i don't have a jogging stroller, but maybe i'll get one for my third...due in december! shhh! i haven't announced it yet!) now i'm going to copy and paste your link for this post in an email to my running friends! :0) and again, your comment on our blog cracked me up! christy
ReplyDeleteThis was great! Might need to print this on a t-shirt...
ReplyDelete@mybabyjohn: LOL!
ReplyDelete@Susanna: I've never confused Body Glide & deodorant, nor Vaseline & Gu, and I don't have a jogging stroller. Otherwise, I think I've hit all of them.
@erica: I've worked hard for the past few years to learn this language. ;)
@christy: Yay, jogging strollers! You're going to be one of those über-fit women who blow past me at races. ;) And thanks for sharing the link!
@Mrs. Harvey: GREAT idea!