Ashes to Ashes

For some reason, my pre-Lent posts have been wildly popular the last couple years. I'm not certain why that is, but in case you've dropped by under the impression that I know things, I want to state as strongly as possible: I am not an expert. My Lenten experiences have no basis in any particular branch of Christianity, in part because in my early years of observing Lent I had to keep it a secret from my extremely Evangelical family. They would have flipped their collective lids.

At the Cathedral Church of St John
the Divine in New York.
One of the most beautiful
buildings I've ever been in in my life.

So Middle School Su had to cobble together her own path through this time of year, and now that I have nearly 30 years' experience of Cafeteria Lent, folks trying it for the first time tend to ask me questions. So this post is an FAQ of what previously non-observing friends and acquaintances usually want to know ahead of Ash Wednesday.

1. Are you judging me for not doing Lent?

No. I don't have the interest or mental energy for keeping that close of tabs on your life. You do you and I'll do the same.

2. Do you have any Lenten resources to recommend?

I do not, but if there's a particular area of your faith that you'd like to explore more, that's a good starting place. Your local library probably has a decent religion & spirituality section.

3. Should I announce my fast on Facebook?

People are a little weird about this one, which is probably why I've heard a lot of strange reasons in favor of blowing a virtual trumpet on Shrove Tuesday. Here's what I got:

• Before you decide, please read Matthew 6:16-18 and carefully consider your motivation for announcing your fast.
• If you're asking me as someone who's done this many times and has some experience of the value of people knowing my fast vs not: no, you shouldn't.
• If you're asking because you're hoping that announcing your fast will start faith-producing conversations: you have wildly misjudged the medium if you expect a productive conversation on Facebook. Still, if you'd like to forge ahead and have an exceptionally open-minded audience, go ahead and try it. Best of luck.
• If you're asking because you're looking for some accountability: I'd suggest you find an offline human, or if it must be online, that you approach someone you trust via private message.
• If you're asking because giving up Facebook is your fast and you want to let everyone know where you're going: I'd only do it if your absence will upset someone. A social media fast is a good exercise in humility, because you'll realize upon your return just how well that world keeps on spinning without you. (I say this from astonished experience.) If you absolutely need to let someone know you're going, this is probably best done via private message rather than a public announcement.
• If you're asking for spiritual guidance, I refer you again to Matthew 6:16-18.

4. Do I have to go meatless on Fridays?

Are you participating in Lent as part of your faith tradition, and does that faith tradition ask you to go meatless? If so, in order to fully participate with your community: yes. If you're creating your own community or going it alone, then you have a bit more leeway to decide which elements, if any, of the traditional fast you're going to adopt. 

5. Did you know it doesn't really add up to 40 days?

Yes. Sundays don't count as part of the 40 days because Christians celebrate Jesus' resurrection on those days, and that celebration supersedes the mourning/fasting of Lent. 

6. Does it matter what I give up?

Yes, it matters, but maybe not in the way you're asking. (And it's okay if you haven't decided yet.) Some things to consider:

• What are you trying to learn from Lent? What areas of your life need growth? Think about that and let that shape your fast. Also keep in mind that your fast, if it's helping you learn/grow, may not be something you want to stop at Easter. You can absolutely use these six weeks as a starting point for something more permanent.
• Some folks are under the impression that people only give up sins that they should have already been trying to remove from their lives. Now, if Lent helps you do that, I'm not about to tell you not to. Six weeks of focused intent may be you push you need to finally deal with that thing. However, it doesn't have to be that, and for many participants it's not.
• You may feel like giving up chocolate or TV or something small is silly. But if you're a first-timer or you choose something small that will be a genuine challenge, there's no reason to feel less than because you gave up coffee. Growth can come from small things, too.
• Consider how you will keep yourself in check when your chosen fast starts really tugging on your brain. If you give up coffee and the trade-off is that you're unbearable to your coworkers for six weeks, maybe you're not quite displaying the love of Jesus in the way you'd intended. Have a plan for refocusing yourself when needed.
• It's not so much what you're giving up; it's what you replace it with. So before you say, "Got it!" take some time to consider what you're adding to your life during Lent. 

7. What if I don't start on Ash Wednesday or fizzle out by the end?

It happens. That's why the Israelites prayed, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (That's Lamentations 3:22-23.) Make a new beginning as often as you need to.

8. What else do I need to know?

Get in there and do it, and be open to what changes in you. If you have a community to do this with, by all means, embrace that community whole-heartedly and do this together. God has placed you in a community for good reason, and fasting together as a shared experience can multiply your joys and divide your struggles. Do not neglect your community this Lent. Embrace them.

You still have a couple days to get ready, but try not to wait until 11:50 Tuesday night.