What are we talking about today?

I'll get back to theme days once I find a groove of posting regularly. In the meantime, most of my posts are about some variation of books, bikes, buses, or Broadway. Plus bits about writing, nonprofits, and grief from time to time.

This blog is mostly lighthearted and pretty silly. It's not about the terrible things happening in the world, but please know that I'm not ignoring those things. I just generally don't write about them here.

17 June 2013

Don't Make Me Come Over There

Sometimes I feel like I spend half my life pleading with people to stop being jerks. Not actual jerks, necessarily, but to stop giving all their mental energy away in worrying about what other people are doing. You know, to live and let live, to mind one's own business, to save your indignation/interference/etc for moments when they are genuinely warranted, and not (for instance) when you don't like someone's shoes.

Seriously, don't be this guy. Source:
MTSOfan on Flickr.
I'm happy to excuse this behaviour in teens and people in their early 20s. They're still figuring out what their life is going to be about and may not have a mentor handy to gently tell them that their life shouldn't be about worrying about what everyone else is doing. It's people my own age doing it that makes me a bit crazy. (And believe me, I say this as someone who spends a lot of time thinking that other people are doing it wrong. I have to fight this impulse as much as anyone else, so let's journey on together, shall we?)

As an example, I'm going to talk about runners. Other people do it, too, but runners are my tribe. And in my years of running, I've lost count of how many times I've heard or read someone say, "Don't ever wear a race t-shirt to the race. You'll look like an ignorant newbie." To which I can only say, "Don't worry so much about what other people are wearing. You sound like everybody's fussy grandmother." There are genuine reasons for not wearing a new anything on race day, but the appearance of it? Don't sweat it. Ignore those people.

Or, heaven help me, doing anything outside of someone's definition of "normal." I can't tell you how many times well-meaning friends have urged Chad and I to buy a car (or, when we had one, to buy a second one) because that's what you're "supposed to do." I don't know why "supposed to"s should run my life, and I suspect the people saying it don't really know, either. So let's not fuss, okay?

I'm sure you all have dozens of similar examples to add to the rantiness. What do you think? Can't we all just get along?

5 comments:

orneryswife said...

Wouldn't it be nice if we all could just be happy with who we are and allow others to do the same? It is pretty amazing at how frequently people feel they have the right or responsibility to tell you how to live. Perspective makes many changes in what is right and wrong, don't you think?
tm

Anonymous said...

Think what you like but keep it to yourself.....that's my mantra.

J E Fritz said...

I hate it when people say you're "supposed" to do something. I'm self-conscious enough as it is. If it's not hurting anyone, it's not a big deal.

Su said...

Yes, yes, and yes. This is why I have the best readers around. :)

Chadwick said...

Hahaha "Don't sweat it?" What else will you do with a race shirt?

I'd probably take issue with being called an ignorant newbie for the shirt I was wearing. There are plenty of other reasons for someone to claim that for me. Even if I run like a newbie, I'm not a newbie, so who cares if I look like one?