Empty Chairs at Empty Tables

Chadwick was not a fan of Les Misérables. He didn't hate it, but he didn't eat, sleep, and breathe musicals like I do, so he tolerated my love for Les Mis in the same way that I smiled and nodded when he would talk about The Walking Dead.

Not a fan, occasional dressing up
as Enjolras notwithstanding.

But. He could tear up the music. He could sing "The Confrontation" (either part), usually as a parody, but geez, could he ever sing it. He also did a fairly good "I Dreamed a Dream." And, as you may have guessed, "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables."

The unfortunate side of this is that it was Nick Jonas' Marius in the 25th anniversary concert that really got Chadwick interested in learning this song-- I mean, we owned the original cast album with Michael Ball, for goodness' sake, but no, he had to get interested because of Nick Jonas. Heaven help me, some days.

Anyway. "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" ended up being one of Chadwick's favourite songs. That's not something I tell people very often, since it's a level of apropos foreshadowing that will turn your brain inside out if you think about it too much. (And for some reason, it upsets other people a lot more than it does me. I guess that's because I have a long list of things to be upset about.)

So it's a shame he missed out on seeing "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" on Broadway, because wow, would he have loved it. At the end of "Turning," the ladies all left candles on the stage, and I thought, "What? How are they going to get those off the stage? Wait, maybe the Barricade Boys..." And you can see it for yourself (well, two of them, anyway) in the clip below. The two you can see behind Marius (played by Chris McCarrell) are Wallace Smith as Enjolras and Jason Forbach as Feuilly, and I hope to see all three of them again at the earliest possible opportunity. In the meantime, I stalk them all on Twitter.




I can't do anything about the empty chair in my house where my Chadwick will sing no more. But filling my life with words and songs that make my tomorrows easier is a thing that I can do.

As the Black Hole Opens Wide

I've considered and rejected nearly every cliche in the English language for the beginning of this post. So, let's just start without one.

One day, I went to sleep worried about my grad class the next day, because I was already behind and still had some homework to do without a lot of time to do it. When I woke up the next day, class mattered a lot less.

I wish I could say I've learned something profound about life in the year since. I have learned that I'm surrounded by the best people on the planet (although I suspected that already). 

No, instead I've taken refuge in the Next to Normal soundtrack, which I've made my life anthem. (Usual warning about this being a very sweary musical and you not blaming me if you choose to listen anyway.) Today's post title is from "I've Been," which also includes maybe the profound truth I've had plenty of time to think over: "I've never had to face the world without her by my side." 

I have faced the world a bit, as much as I can, as much as I can see of it over that aforementioned amazing group of people. It's a much less fun place than it was a year and a day ago.

U is for Uglies

Still making my bookish way through the end of the alphabet to finish my long-abandoned A to Z Challenge series. My favourite book that starts with U is:

Image source: Goodreads.

Uglies, Scott Westerfeld

Great opener to a series; sad to say, the remaining books did not live up to the promise of this one. However, you could absolutely read this one on its own. Lovely world-building, lots of action, plenty of inner conflict for the main character. Love it.

Mission: Collaborate

One of my goals for 2016 is to do some writing outside my normal genres, just to mix it up and stretch those muscles a bit. So for the last few weeks, I chipped away slowly at a thing I would never have come up with on my own.

I don't want to give too much away, since it's not even my story, so let's start at the very beginning: about six months ago, recurring Cheeky guest blogger Bill sent me a prompt for a collaborative story he's working on, which I stuck in a file and immediately forgot about. About two months ago, he circled back and asked if I had written anything yet. Ooops!

Not here.

So I did. It's sci-fi, set not on Earth, and is the kind of story I love to read and watch but have never written myself, so I was a bit scared and a lot stymied about how to begin. As so often happens, an idea arrived while I was out running. (I mean, what else do I have to think about for four miles?) I started writing with that idea in mind, managed a half dozen pages, and sent it back last week in the hopes that it jibes at least a little bit with the rest of the project.

I'm totally flattered that anyone would voluntarily ask me to collaborate on a writing project. Bill & I first met when we were in the same Creative Writing class at UT (I used to crash into him with my backpack a lot-- I'm not that great at spatial awareness) and we've been friends ever since, so for someone to have read as much of my writing as he has and still want to read more of it is super-friendly.

So! One goal, well underway, with a little help from my friends. I may write some more sci-fi/fantasy just for fun and to continue to work writing muscles that haven't seen a lot of action.

What have you done to stretch lately?

Repost: Six Years a Marathoner

It's been six years. On Saturday, February 13, 2010, I sat in a hotel room in downtown Austin and wrote this post. I have a plan for marathon #2, but it won't be until 2017. That's a long time between marathons.

Chadwick at the 2015
Austin Half.

Meanwhile, the 25th Austin Marathon and Half Marathon is happening tomorrow, and I'm not running. However, since the race course passes directly in front of my house, I will be spectating (with orange slices at the ready--by gum, I learned from my own marathon experience). I volunteered in the info booth yesterday afternoon, as has become my tradition. I love race weekend in Austin, so much, and there is an extra tug at my heart when it comes and goes without me running it. There's an extra-extra tug this year, since the Austin Half was Chadwick's last race.

His last tweet, posted after he withdrew from the race.
He immediately headed to cheer me over the
South 1st Street bridge. He wasn't fine,
but we didn't know that yet.

It's cool to me that the anniversary of my first marathon lands on the exact same day this year-- Sunday, February 14. It will be even cooler once I get to experience marathon #2. Soon, I hope.

---------------------------------------------
On the Eve of Becoming a Marathoner

So, I've been composing this little entry in my head for a while; ever since I began my taper for the marathon which, as I write this, is just over 18 hours away. (Oh. My. Word.)

My running career began when I was 12 and thought that running track would be a fun way to hang out with my friends. (I was right about that.) Even then, there was no one who didn't know that I was easily the slowest person on the team. To put it another way, the fast people would be finishing the 800 just as I was entering the first curve of my second lap. And yet... and yet, those same people were still standing near to cheer in the slow people as we finished. Some of my coaches had a hard time believing that anyone could run that slowly, but again, I rarely heard anything but encouragement.

(In gym class, my classmates took pains to tell me that I run like a duck. And quack behind me in the halls for my entire freshman year. Thanks, guys.)

Since then, I had an on-again, off-again relationship with running until three years ago. I took it up again, found that I liked it, and then (and here is the secret to my sticking with it) we joined the West Texas Running Club. The club puts on monthly, totally-non-threatening, gives-you-something-to-train-for races. I love it.

Anyway. That was all background to the sappy part. I never would have stuck with this, I never would have striven for improvement, I certainly never would have thought about running a marathon without all the support and encouragement I've received from all sides. Running really is a non-team team sport, and I have a GINORMOUS number of teammates.

After the 2010 Austin
Marathon.

Chad got me into this mess in the first place. There are many people in the running club who are so encouraging, even (especially!) when they finish 30 minutes ahead of me. We've been blessed beyond measure by Shannon & Wendy's friendship; it calmed my nerves considerably to see a familiar face at our first race. (And Shannon graciously refrained from saying "I told you so" after I went out MUCH too fast only 10 minutes after he warned me not to.)

There are other runners at South Plains and at work who have helped with advice and encouragement. But I readily admit to being even more uplifted by non-runners, mostly on Facebook, who make me feel like an Olympic athlete when all I've done is a slow 3-miler. Especially so are the people who have said I'm an inspiration. And so this uber-slow, runs-like-a-duck girl has become a mostly-slow, still-runs-like-a-duck running girl, who gets by with a little help from her friends.

I couldn't have done it without your help. And so, on the eve of becoming a Marathoner, I say thank you. Rest assured that during the long miles tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. And thanking God for you.

Got Dirt?

In the years that I've been composting, I've had a terrible sense of timing.

Growing my tomatoes in my own
compost. The squash was a volunteer--
one of the hazards of using my own
compost is that sometimes
 surprise plants turn up.

I've never had enough dirt when it comes time to plant stuff, only to have too-full compost bins when it's not quite time to plant but I'm still producing veggie peelings that need to go somewhere on a daily basis (like now). It's probably time for a good churn, maybe to get some of the ready-to-go compost into a pot or two for when it's time to plant (which, in Austin, is only a few weeks from now). Maybe this time I'll have enough dirt to plant in without having to work around the not-yet-crumbly bits.

However! Supposing you don't yet have a giant bin of dirt that used to be old veggies, I'm here to help you out. I started out with a large plant pot on the balcony and some shredded paper, this list of things that are compostable, plus a love for vegetables. You need to keep a good mix of green and brown (brown is anything that used to be a tree, green is anything from other kinds of plants), so toss in more shredded paper or dry leaves every time you put in a pile of vegetable scraps.

Our original compost bin. It's since
been replaced by successive larger
bins, most recently a giant trash can.
I plant things in this one now.

If you're lucky enough to have a yard to do this in, but still want to keep your compost in a container, punch a couple of holes in the bottom. This will allow drainage, which is great, and also allows any earthworms and other beneficial creepy-crawlies to get inside, have a snack, and process your old veggies with their highly efficient digestive tracts. Check out resources from Planet Natural and Compost Guide for more expert-level tips than I have--while I feel pretty successful in my composting, I mostly just make it up as I go along and what's worked for me may be disastrous for you.

One final thing--keep a lid on it. You don't want all the neighbourhood squirrels, dogs, raccoons, and other wildlife coming by for a digging spree. When we started composting, we lived on the third floor with no nearby trees, so it wasn't worth it for even squirrels to come round for a visit, but since I've been living in a duplex we've been visited by pretty much everything. Remove temptation by covering your compost.

Do you compost? What do you use it for?

Challenger: Thirty Years

The anniversary of Challenger has come and gone, and I couldn't bring myself to comment on the actual anniversary, but I do have Thoughts. (By some miracle, these are different thoughts than the ones I had on the 25th anniversary.)

Still my favourite photo of the crew. Source: NASA.gov.

As I made my way through higher education, and especially in a technical communication program, Challenger came up over and over again. Y'all, it would have been so easy to not lose those astronauts. So easy. There were memos, there were warnings, there were impassioned pleas around NASA in the weeks leading up to the launch. And they went unheeded. Among the many tragedies of that day stands this one: People in the place to make decisions took their eyes off the ball for a few seconds too long. And this is the price that was paid.

I didn't know that as a 7-year-old on that January day. In the weeks and months that followed I mourned the lost astronauts with a grief that I couldn't share and wouldn't talk about (haha, not a lot has changed for me there--even my sister has to read my blog to find out what I'm thinking). Eventually, I named a couple of cats after Judith Resnik & Christa McAuliffe. Those cats both lived happy lives, eventually dying from natural causes, although they never went to space. Not quite as monumental as having a high school named after you, I suppose, but they were very cute cats.

Incidentally, it's so painfully obvious who remembers Challenger and who doesn't when it comes up in a classroom. There's a visible flinch from those who remember it. As one of them, I'm amazed every time at our collective reaction. So many national tragedies have come and gone since then, and yet even the word produces a physical reaction. I imagine that's a reflection of how unprepared we were, in 1986, for something to go horribly wrong. And maybe it's the fact that so many things have gone wrong since that makes us react. Maybe it's the knowledge that we haven't learned so much, after all.

Be Spectacular!

The Austin Marathon is this weekend! And other spring races are also gearing up for the still-cool-enough-to-run-in-but-not-freezing-any-longer weeks ahead. (Yay! Gosh, running is awesome.) Of course, not everyone is a runner, so here's a quick and easy guide if you're planning to be a spectator at Austin or any other race in the near future.

Basically what every race I've ever
spectated for (or run in) looks like.
Source: Margan Zajdowicz on
freeimages.com.

1. Never, ever say "Almost there!"
It doesn't matter how objectively true you think this is. There are few things more irritating for a runner than for a spectator to say "almost there." As I said in church on Sunday while making the marathon announcement (the course goes directly by our building, so some planning ahead is required), if you say "almost there" during a race, you may be almost killed by an angry runner. Just don't.

2. Do say encouraging things, though.
"Lookin' good!" "Keep it up!" "You're awesome!" "You got this!" These are all great. Clapping and/or and noisemakers are also great if you get tired of shouting.

3. Signs are fun!
One of my favourites is "Worst Parade Ever," but don't stop there. Lots of creative and fun ideas are available on the internet. Find one, break out the markers, and have a good time!

4. It's cool to hand stuff out.
Things I've seen handed out at races: mints, Jolly Ranchers, tissues, water/gatorade/beer at impromptu aid stations, and (my all-time favourite) orange slices. This Sunday, I'll be in front of Red River Church, giant bowl of orange slices at the ready.

5. High-fives are awesome.
Just be prepared to have sore hands after fiving hundreds of runners.

6. Runners love you!
Seriously, spectators are awesome, and the best races are usually the ones with the best crowd support. Even if runners look tired/angry/half-dead and don't visibly respond to your encouragement, please know that we love you and appreciate you taking hours out of your day to cheer on strangers. Spectators are the best.

T is for Thirteen

Time to dig in and finally finish my A to Z Challenge posts from... 2014, I think. I was swimming along just fine with the challenge that April, got all the way up to Q, and then didn't get my R post written. Or S. Or any of the others, because it was the end of my grad school semester and I just said "forget it."

I have no idea if I'll do A to Z this year. I didn't in 2015, but this year I have no grad school to get in the way, so that's something. Perhaps it's time for a theatre-themed A to Z.

Anyway! 2014 was all about my favourite books, so my favourite T book is...

Image source: Goodreads.

Thirteen Reasons Why, Jay Asher

Why this book? Because of all the emphasis it places on the consequences of one's actions. Because it puts Hannah's tormentors into the light of day and forces them to face their mistakes. One little thing after another piled up on Hannah, until one day it was more than she could take, but before she left she articulated what was going on inside her.

Why is this book problematic? Many Goodreads reviewers point out that it glamorizes suicide--because Hannah left behind her reasons for taking her own life, she immortalizes herself. The book doesn't deal with the grieving process. It doesn't show how Clay moves on. We don't get a glimpse of 10 or 20 years later and whether any of her classmates have more than occasional flashes of regret for the girl they once tormented. We get the raw emotion, but--that fades. People heal. And over time, Hannah will remain dead even while the others go on living, but we don't see that in this book.

Part of me thinks this is a book that should be on school reading lists. However, as someone who was scarred by a school reading list, another part of me wants to put up warning signs. If the teacher and students aren't ready and able to have the discussion about the problems in this book, about what happens after the last page is turned, then it doesn't need to be required reading. I recommend this one to young friends, but more accurately I recommend it to their parents, so they can all talk about it together. This is a book that merits as much discussion about what's not in it as it does about what's in it.

And if the reader can't do that, then that's a pretty good reason to leave it on the shelf.

What's your favourite "T" book?

No Reason We Can't Do Both

The church I attend, which I love very much, has morning prayer time on Mondays. Now, once upon a time in Lubbock, I was the crazy-crazy person hosting early-morning prayer time, so it has seemed reasonable to me for months that I should be willing to get up and attend a morning prayer group. Last week, I finally did it.

You know what? It was great. I well remember why I enjoyed those weekly morning gatherings so much. And while I know that prayer time may not be everyone's cup of tea, I do encourage everyone I know to set aside time to gather with friends and process their week in whatever way seems best.

Anyway. So in the course of last Monday, our pastor quoted Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "Aurora Leigh":

Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,
And daub their natural faces unaware
More and more from the first similitude.

He asked if I were familiar with the quote, presumably because I'm well known for being a bookworm and quoter of many things, and I said, "I'm not familiar with it, but now I'm wondering why we can't do both."

Not a burning bush.
Source: Joonas Lampinen
on freeimages.com.

My irreverence got a laugh, but as I went on my way that morning I continued thinking-- can I do both? Can I see God in everything but still enjoy what's in front of me? I mean, if I see a burning bush, then I know God is calling me to something big, and I'd better get some supplies. Hey, look, there are blackberries right here! Cool.

But my natural cheekiness aside, I think Ms. Browning was correct. It's hard to see the spectacular when we're looking at the mundane. It's too easy to get so distracted by the shiny thing directly in front of me that I miss the amazing thing happening just a little farther away, if only I would look up to see it. Sometimes it's a struggle to look up. (I tried to find the scene from Cars where freeway traffic is driving right past a magnificent view without even seeing it, with no luck. So--that scene.)

Look up. What do you see?

You Can't Just Walk Out of a Drive-In

Aaron. Tveit. Aaron Tveit on my TV. Aaron Tveit singing, dancing, and bad-boying on my television. Yes, please. (Although I do agree with at least one review I read that said Aaron Tveit is not that believable as a bad boy. He looked guilty for most of the show.)

Seriously, Grease Live was gorgeous and fun and a total delight. Having a live audience was a brilliant move. The cast was phenomenal. I hope someone at NBC was watching, taking notes, and resolving to do all subsequent musicals better.

That hair is really defying gravity. (Yes, this is approximately
the 2198th time I've made that joke.)
Source: Fox Facebook page.

Having the drag race on the stage was kind of dopey, though. They tried a bit too hard there to do the movie. Like the other three live musicals in recent past, this show was an amalgamation of the stage show and the movie (although the internet audience still doesn't seem to get there is musical life beyond the movie screen). I giggled a lot that they made the words to "Greased Lightnin'" more family-friendly but left in the scene in the backseat.

Also, if you missed Lin-Manuel Miranda's live tweets, wow, did you ever miss out.

Marking Time

I have three 2016 calendars in my house, and I can only suppose the only reason I don't have four calendars is because no one has shown up at my door to hand me a fourth one.

My favourite of my 2016
calendars. This month is
Charing Cross in Glasgow.
I've been there.

I am a fan of calendars, if for no other reason than it's a cheap and easy way to get nice artwork/photography in my home. A new picture every month--how great is that?

But what do I do with it once the year is over? Well, in years past if I liked the calendar enough, I took it apart and kept the pictures. Unfortunately, if you're planning on being on the planet for more than a couple of years this gets problematic in a hurry--even if I swap them out once a month as the manufacturers (sort of) intended, there are only so many picture frames that one household can support.

Recycling is an obvious answer, although the slick pages of a calendar make it harder than your average paper to recycle. Turning it into confetti for your New Year party is probably a reasonable choice. Kids' art projects? Repurpose into book covers? Just keep reusing it and embrace that you're always on the wrong day?

I don't know. But a good start is probably not having three calendars per year.

Do you have a green solution to old calendars?

Pancake Day

There are lots of things I remember.

Source: Anna Moderska
on freeimages.com.

On February 17, Shrove Tuesday, Chadwick and I spent the evening at Red River Church's Pancake Dinner. He wasn't feeling well, because the blood clot that was hours away from killing him was already making its way through his body and causing symptoms we thought were from an asthma attack. But despite not feeling well, he came out to the pancake dinner because people he cared about were gathering. He felt better as the evening went on. We split some ice cream and talked about a TV show he had been watching before I went to bed.

There are other things I forget.

I forget that other people were also there that night. I forget that the same people who Chadwick left the house that evening to see also saw him. I forget that I'm not the only one for whom the pancake dinner and Chadwick's passing are inextricably linked.

Fortunately, other people are okay with me forgetting. They're in a place to remind me. Shrove Tuesday is about to come around again, the Pancake Dinner is scheduled at church again (not only are pancakes on Shrove Tuesday a tradition, but it's also a fundraiser for our missions). I had already mentioned to the church Planner of Cool Events (not her actual title) that even though I'd RSVP'd to the event, I wasn't sure I was really going to go. And it seems that I was not the only one who'd thought about it, because last Sunday several people stopped to ask me if I was okay with the pancake dinner going on again. Which is not only super-kind, but makes me think they all believe I have much more influence on the universe than I really do.

I'm okay with it. I'll probably stop by to say hello. It's possible my composure will last about three nanoseconds and it will be time to head home. The upside is that since Easter moves around, so does Shrove Tuesday, so it's not the exact same week. Pretty close, though. But I hope I don't have to leave. I hope I can keep myself together enough to stay. Because other people are also grieving the loss of a friend, other people will also be thinking of Chadwick that night, and those other people have been here at every turn for the last year. However sad I might be at the Pancake Dinner, it will feel right to spend the evening with dear friends.

I can remember that.

Carrying Capacity

While I was in college, I tended to use my bicycle as a mobile library. This was pretty rough on my panniers, since I ignored the suggested weight limits and just packed stuff in as long as there was space. As a result, I tore through two sets in four years.

Rather than get a new set right away when the second one came apart (mid-ride, alas--that was quite a day), I pulled out an old crate that I've had since I was about 15. My tastes in colour schemes have changed just a bit in the intervening years:

Yep, I'm dressed as Elphaba. It was Halloween.
I was not dressed as Fiona, despite many people who guessed her first. Eeep.

But in recent weeks, the crate has started cracking a bit and the bungees were getting frayed, so it was time for a new solution, especially since I don't carry massive grad school books everywhere I go any longer.

I was looking for something that was easy to get on and off, preferably carry-able. I settled on this one (a pair of this one, that is) from Green Guru that's made of recycled banners, which is a nice bonus here in Su-Land.

And as another nice bonus: they fold flat against the bike when not in use, so I can leave them on the bus, even the three-slot racks where the bikes are super close together.

What's also great about these, as opposed to the crate, is that having the crate was affecting the way I was sitting, which changed how my muscles and everything else operated. No prizes for guessing how bad of an idea that is if you don't want worn-out quads. There's nothing wrong with using a crate and bungees, of course, but I do recommend that anyone going down that road take a bit more time than I did to consider its effect on your body and adjust as necessary.

Being able to carry things is a big part to being a transportation cyclist. It's easy enough to just wear a backpack, but putting it on the bike makes the trip a lot more pleasant, and having something that properly hooks onto the bike will work a lot better than trying to hold things or hang bags off the handlebars (please don't do that!) while riding. The best solution, as ever, is the one that works best for you. Just keep in mind that the weight limits on panniers are a thing.

Reading Challenge Update: January 2016

Here's what happened in my reading challenges for January. Links are (mostly) to Goodreads, which is also where I've written (most of) my reviews.

Books I read for the first time in January 2016

I Love Libraries Challenge (6/24 books so far)

The Transport Debate, Jon Shaw & Iain Docherty
The Fault in our Stars, John Green
Lessons from Madame Chic, Jennifer Scott
168 Hours, Laura Vanderkam
Raising Steam, Terry Pratchett
Princess Academy, Shannon Hale


Read it Again, Sam (1/4 books so far)

Let it Snow, Maureen Johnson, John Green, & Lauren Myracle

This is normally a Christmas re-read, but it was checked out over Christmas & took a while to get to me.


Woman Challenge (3/20 books so far)

Lessons from Madame Chic, Jennifer Scott
168 Hours, Laura Vanderkam
Princess Academy, Shannon Hale


Mount TBR Challenge (0/12 books so far)

Nothing on this one in January, because I'm trying to make a dent in Mount These Are Due at the Library Soon before I get any more fines than I've already accrued.


Goodreads Challenge (6/100 books so far)

See above--my library checkouts are what I read this month (I don't count re-reads in this total). I'm two books behind already, Goodreads kindly tells me. Sheesh.


Did you read anything good in January? What should I add to my list?

About Face

It's hard to quit Facebook. And maybe most of us shouldn't bother trying.

This is probably illegal.

Goodness knows I try; I leave it on one of my business pages most of the time now. I took the app off my phone (which makes checking into the theatre to brag about what show I'm seeing slightly more of a challenge). For a while I was only checking once a day, although I've been slightly more active the last week or two.

Why? It turns out it's hard to do other things while I'm hanging out in the virtual marketplace waiting for people to say things. And of course, people so rarely say things now, not when there are memes to share and articles of dubious fact content to argue over. And then there are the comments--sometimes I just can't stand seeing how rude strangers can be to people I care about. (Strangers to me, that is, not to them. But still!) It all came to a head for me during the Syrian refugee hand-wringing a few weeks back, when I finally couldn't take it any longer and I went on a deleting spree.

And Facebook is desperate to hang on to the time and attention we so willingly give it. The people behind the site like it being a news source (although I find it much too slow to be any use for news; that's what Twitter is for). They want us so badly to never leave the app that they're developing a browser. Why do you think every other website allows you to log in with Facebook? (I don't do that, either.) The more we rely on them, the harder it is for us to quit. A bit like an addiction.

The thing is, I do like being able to connect to so many people in one place. I like that I can post funny memes and giggle over it with friends across time and space, as it were. It's more convenient than email and faster than phoning all of my friends once a day.

It's what brings people to my blog (although not as much on days when I don't talk about Chadwick, it seems. Truly, the most interesting part of me is gone). And I am unwilling to completely walk away from all that, not while friends are still gathering and talking and having a laugh.

Still. If you've noticed my absence, that's why. The rudeness reminded me that I have other life goals, and the other life goals keep me from spending too much time there most days. I'm a bit afraid that if I let myself spend any more time there, I'll fall into a swirling vortex of rude, too. Perhaps I already have and my being gone is a relief to some. And I'm sure there are others who never noticed that I was gone at all. Such is the way of human interaction, especially on a site with a mysterious algorithm that means most of us are shouting into the void, anyway.

How do you feel about Facebook? Fun forum? House of horrors? Somewhere in between?

Free Doughnuts! The Boys Next Door

Feelings. So many feelings. My first theatre visit of 2016 nearly destroyed me.

Source: City Theatre Austin's
Facebook page.

The Boys Next Door is the story of four gents with varying degrees of intellectual disability who live together in a group home, and the social worker who looks after them also with varying degrees of success. It has many moments of absolute hilarity (like when one character shouts "Free doughnuts!" and throws them out the front door one by one), and lots of sweetness.

Now, there's a reason I don't review live theatre for a living: everything I wrote would be a variation on "OMG, so awesome, go see it right away," which all my theatrical friends assure me would be a welcome change from the traditional review, but which I doubt would get me paid for long. However, about The Boys Next Door, it basically boils down to, "OMG! So awesome! Go see it right away and bring a hankie!"

Why bring a hankie? Well, when I told my friend Tony (who plays Barry Klemper) that we were looking forward to seeing the show, he did not say, "Oh, by the way, I have the most emotionally shattering scenes in the show and they're going to leave your heart laying on the floor in pieces, so bring an entire box of tissues," which was a bit of an oversight. Yes, the sad bits of the show will positively rip your heart right out of your body and possibly incite feelings of hatred and violence toward the character causing the emotional devastation.

One of the side effects of fangirling so much over every actor I've ever seen live (and stalking them all on social media) is that I have no trouble separating the actor from the character, sometimes to the detriment of me enjoying the show--it's harder to get lost in to the moment when I can't forget I'm watching people play make-believe.

However, as I sat in a theatre and laughter dissolved into tears as the show went on, I forgot that I was watching a friend. Moment by moment, everything else fell away and the action on the stage was all there was. Which is as theatre should be. Which is why I was a blubbering mess by the curtain call.

And so at the end, I was able to cheer and grin even while my heart was still in pieces. The Boys Next Door, while devastating, is absolute magic.

And, therefore (since it's popular in community theatre, I've heard, and may well be playing near you sometime soon) (that link is to a excellent review of The Boys Next Door, btw, should you care to read it), OMG! So awesome! Go see it right away!

Melt It All Away

From time to time, people ask me what to do with their candles that have burned all the way to the bottom but left a fair amount of wax behind. I don't know if people ask me because I write about reusing so often, or because I do other green things so it's naturally presumed that I have have Thoughts On The Subject.

Source: Sorina Bindea on
freeimages.com 

I do, as it happens. Before I married a guy with asthma, I was quite the scented candle fanatic (and from where I'm sitting in my living room, I can see four right now, so I suppose I am again) and they never burn down to my satisfaction. I paid for that whole jar of wax, dangit, and I am not amused when it burns straight down the middle. That's just cheating.

Some things I've tried with varying degrees of success: Stick a tealight in it and see what happens. (Nothing. Don't bother.) Put the jar on one of those heater things--this one works, of course. Stick a taper candle in the middle-- this one works best if you cut the taper down to the size of your jar, but in the end it really only works marginally better than putting in a tealight.

Then there's sticking in a new wick, which I've also done. This works best in conjunction with melting the whole thing down. If I were going to try this again, I think I'd get the wax just warm enough to pop out of the jar, put it into a double-boiler-ish setup so it melts faster, then pour it back in once I'd made sure the wick was in place. (Not what I did last time. Last time--well, let's just say there was a big mess.) Oh, and once you finally do melt the candle all the way to the end, remember there are things you can do with the empty jar, like put a pillar candle in it to catch the spare wax, for instance.

And, of course, you can always ask Pinterest to see what people more expert than I am have to say.

Do you burn scented candles? What do you do with the leftover wax?

New Year, New Gadget

What my watch said when I forgot
to switch it off while I wasn't
using it. It's very bossy.

I've done a few runs now with my new Garmin. So far, it's working exactly how I was hoping. It tells me (mostly) how fast I'm going. It even stops when I stop, which is really nice, since I usually don't bother stopping my phone's clock. (I'd rather think that I'm running slower than I really am than the other way around.) It motivates me to keep on my pace.

I did have a problem with it on one tight-ish zigzag. On a couple of my running routes, I run up a street, over a block, then back down the next street. It took my Garmin a few blocks to catch back up with what was going on, and at the end of the run the mileage didn't quite agree with what my mapping program says. And not in the "I-didn't-run-the-tangents" way, but in the "wasn't-the-mile-marker-supposed-to-be-two-blocks-ago" way.

So, I'm smoothing out that bit of my routes, by going a few blocks more down before I turn back, and I hope that will help. I haven't done that particular route since the great day of electronic confusion, but it's coming up again this week. We'll see.

Do you have a fancy gadget that sometimes has a bit of trouble keeping up? What do you do with it?

Conference Time Again

Every other year (that is, years when the Texas Legislature is not in session), my office joins forces with another nonprofit to produce the Texas Trails and Active Transportation Conference. This year, it's in Houston in March-- exactly six weeks away. Eeep!

At our last conference in 2014, I was
way starstruck by so many of our speakers,
starting with this lady--
Fort Worth Mayor Besty Price.
She's awesome.

And I'm speaking again, this time on Day 2 of the conference. I'm talking communications: going over the basics like where to find your metrics and how to create an editorial calendar, plus some less-obvious but still-helpful stuff like how to make your pictures Pinterest-ready. And of course, I'll be live-Periscoping from the session just for fun.

Fortunately, this entire conference isn't about me nattering on (although if you're into me nattering on, you should follow BikeTexas on Periscope and see it happen live daily). The TTAT Conference will bring together those involved with bicycle, pedestrian, and other active transportation and recreation modes from around Texas and the world. The conference will focus on issues of economic development, health, safety, and many other topics relevant to advancing active transportation and trails.

So, if you're in Texas, near Texas, or passing through Texas next month and this sort of thing strikes your fancy, check it out! If not, no worries-- I'll be sure to tweet and blog my way through, so you'll at least get glimpses.

168 Hours

I have many feelings about this book.

Source: Goodreads.

First of all, she admits pretty early on that this book is for a fairly narrow audience: people whose work life allows some kind of flexibility and who have some disposable income. While some of her discussion is applicable to pretty much everyone--if you only have a couple hours a day to devote to a hobby, are you choosing the one that's going to bring you the most satisfaction?--much of it is not.

So, that being the case, what did I like about this book? Her case studies are well-chosen and fascinating. Her points about having to make choices about your time vs your money are good ones (for instance: if you have some spare cash, but want half and hour twice a week back to do something fun with your kids, maybe it's better to pay someone else to take care of your lawn).

Most of all, I appreciated her rather pointed comments about TV, because the truth is, if I'm choosing to watch TV (as I am, this week, while the Australian Open is on) then I'm actively choosing not to do something else. This is a point I wish more people would come to grips with. There are few things more aggravating to me than someone saying about one of my hobbies, usually with an accompanying smirk and/or eyeroll, "You have too much time on your hands." My complaint here isn't merely that it's no one else's business what I do with my time; my complaint is that about nine times out of four, this is said by someone who's already mentioned multiple TV shows in the conversation. So my response is inevitably, "So do you."

I also think Ms. Vanderkam's suggestion to keep a time log for a couple of weeks is golden. As it is often said, "If it's not documented, it didn't happen." How am I supposed to know how I'm spending my time, how will I see what activities are sapping hours from my life without giving much satisfaction in return, if I'm not paying attention to where the hours are going?

So, yes, I liked this book a lot, for all that it was aimed well above my pay grade. It got a bit tedious toward the end, but most of the book is thought-provoking and worth the time spend reading it.

What are you reading this week?

Shows I Loved: Boy Meets World

Like so many '90s children/teens, I watched the ABC Friday night lineup like it was the only TV that mattered. Shows came and went throughout the years, and while I remember them all well, in the last few weeks I've been revisiting a favourite: Boy Meets World.

We've watched the newer Girls Meets World with all the nostalgia we can muster (when we can remember that it's on, that is). So revisiting Cory and Topanga's early days seemed like a good idea when I got Denise the complete set for Christmas.

You can watch Cory grow up,
right there on the box!

I gotta say: Their early days were their best days. Also, wow, could this show be any less diverse? That's been annoying me about Girl Meets World (and is one reason I don't work that hard to remember when it's on--surely Cory and Topanga could have made friends with a few people who don't look like them by now?), but when coupled with the original it's pretty obvious they're not even trying.

So, watching seven seasons of a beloved childhood sitcom in a couple of weeks' time is a good way to ruin said love. In such rapid succession, it's much too easy to see the continuity goofs, the relentlessly recycled plotlines, and your favourite characters' flaws that are easily accepted in the long term but become aggravating with constant exposure. At least the show does poke fun at its own inconsistencies (as in one alternate-universe episode, when the Cory-like character asks, "How can I learn so much every week and still be so stupid?").

However. There is a certain delight in the nostalgia provided by revisiting a childhood show, even if you do see all the blemishes in a new light. That's part of the reason I enjoy watching The Brady Bunch with my mother, after all--it's like visiting old friends and re-entering that frame of mind you were in at the time, without all the bother of having to re-live through it. And, of course, it lets you see how far you've come from this moment that was frozen in time.

What's your favourite childhood show? Would you watch it again?

Over the Rainbow

One of the challenges of crafting as a hobby is the leftovers.

Small balls of yarn that are too little to make much of anything but too big to just toss. Odds and ends of fabric. Embroidery thread that's wandered off from its label so there's no telling what shade it was... is this DMC 351 or 352?

What I do with old crayons.
It's the low-cost therapy
that keeps on thera-ping!

And then there's crayons. Somehow, I managed to have some crayons survive my childhood and travel with me through many adventures until I recently turned to melted crayon art to solve my crayon clutter problem (and someone else's too--I had a huge jug of castoff crayons when I started).

Fortunately, if turning your home into a colourful splatter zone is not your thing, there are other options. Check out this blog that has 26 suggestions besides the melty things you see on Pinterest. If you'd rather find new homes for whole, gently loved crayons, try these:

The Crayon Initiative
No Crayon Left Behind
Crazy Crayons

Of course, check with teachers you know, your local schools, a women's shelter, or youth club first. They may be more than happy to take those crayons off your hands.

Now, if only there were such easy solutions for my odd remnants of cross stitch fabric.

What do you do with old craft things laying around your house?

Running Is Not As Complicated As I Make It Sound

Whether it's the new year, the most popular races in Austin looming before us, or just that I've been talking about running a lot lately, I've been getting lots of running questions from assorted friends and acquaintances. That being the case, it's time to dust off and update my Running FAQ post again. Is running in your plan for 2016? Here you go:

So, how do you start running?

I'll start with the easy answer: Slowly. Seriously, don't try to be Usain Bolt or Kara Goucher right out of the gate. You'll end up injured and/or discouraged. Be willing to make haste slowly, as they say, and the rewards will come when they come. (I know; it sounds depressing. But if you want to run, that's the way it's going to be.)

Okay, I'm going slow. Now, what else do I need?

I wear Mizunos. You should wear
what works best for you.

Shoes:
This is the biggest challenge for new runners and runners on a budget, IMO, because not only is this probably the most expensive running necessity, but there's also a huge disagreement among runners over what kind of shoes (or no shoes) are best. My first piece of advice, then, is to always, ALWAYS listen to your body. When you're trying out something new with your feet, pay attention to the weird twinges or strange pains to be sure they're a normal part of adjusting and not a sign something is wrong. Rest, ice, stretch, and all that good stuff in between runs. In short, take care of your feet.

Now, as to where to get them: I recommend finding a place that will do free gait analysis for you so they can make recommendations about what shoes to get--for example, I overpronate, so I buy motion-control shoes. When it comes to buying, I get my beloved Mizunos from Academy Sports (a chain store) in low-budget times and from a local running store in more comfortable times. If Academy doesn't work for you, I also recommend Sears or Target for budget shoes. I don't recommend Walmart because I've never been happy with their selection of running shoes. They have too wide a demographic to be much use in this area, I'm afraid. You can also find deals on Amazon pretty often, especially if you know your brand & size already.

Wicking clothes:
It's totally possible to run in cotton t-shirts. I did it for years. But sooner or later, you'll get a wicking shirt from a friend or from an event you entered and you'll wear it and wonder why you put up with sweat-laden cotton for so long.

This is an area where you can basically spend as much or little as you'd like. I recommend finding something with a securable pocket (zipper, flap, something) for your keys and phone, whether that be in the shirt or the shorts (I have one of each). The lower budget items tend not to have pockets, FYI, so it may be worth it to find one piece that you like that costs a bit more but has a pocket and then fill in the rest with less-expensive stuff. Check out local events--any running or cycling expo will have lots of high-end clothes that come with nice discounts. Great place to find your one helpful piece.

All the rest of my workout clothes (well, nearly all... read on) come from Sears. I think their generic brand is Everlast. I've been very happy with everything I've gotten from them. Again, I also recommend Academy or Target, and can't un-recommend Walmart strongly enough. Don't even bother. Their stuff is no good.

Socks:
You may get lucky and have feet that don't blister in cotton socks. If you're not so lucky, sports stores will have wicking socks, as do most department stores (but you need to know what you're looking for). Because of my circulation issues, I've transitioned to knee-high compression socks that I get online from Pro Compression when they're having a sale. But that's not necessary for everyone.

Sport bra: 
I have only ever been happy with bras I got from Academy or a running store. I could with reservations say go ahead and look at Target. I can't recommend Sears here--I've gotten a couple of their bras in the past, but they wear out too quickly to be a reasonable recommendation for someone on a budget, because you'll just be back buying another one in a few weeks' time. Under Armour is my preferred brand for sports bras, and yes, they're a bit pricier than some others, so you may prefer a different brand. Just make sure you get one that fits properly and is rated for high impact sports.

Body glide:
I love this stuff and can't recommend it enough to prevent chafing in all sorts of spots. However, I know the price tag can seem daunting--I have sticker shock every time! The good news is that a canister will last you for a while. The bad news is that you basically have to go to a sports store to get this, because department stores usually don't carry it. The okay-ish news is that you can use regular Vaseline (or a Vaseline-like product), which in my experience doesn't work quite as well, but it does work.

Running buddies are not mere accessories--they make the
miles go by faster. (Just disregard the look on my face.)

Accessories:
I have a couple of fuel belts--one I got at Sears for next to nothing, and the other Chadwick won in a contest. If you're running long and don't want to carry a water bottle in your hand, this is a good option. Be aware that every brand of bottle will leak eventually, and the cheaper ones may leak from the very first time you use them.

Hats or visors are pretty much a necessity for sunny running, as is sunscreen. Protect your skin! I can't even remember where I got my visor, so I can't be much help here, but anything that gives your eyes a bit of shade will do. Just make sure it's a hat you don't mind sweating all over.

I run with an iPod. It's not a necessity and I can run without it, but I have a foolproof race day playlist that I love, and sometimes the right song can give you a boost midrun. I had a cheaper mp3 player for a while, so there's no reason it has to be an Apple product. This is another one where you could just use your phone, if you wanted, or go without. I have a harder time finding earbuds that stay put and don't completely block all sound (I run with one ear open to solve that problem), but Walmart has been a lifesaver here. Finally, something I can recommend Walmart for! You can get headphones cheaply there and they tend to last a while despite their low price tag. I am absolutely not willing to buy fancy sport earbuds that do the same thing but cost five times as much.

Watch:
I just bought my first Garmin, but that's totally not necessary. I use the stopwatch app on my phone and I've owned a couple of other watches through my running years. Or sometimes I leave them all at home and just glance at a clock on my way out & back in.

Mid-run fuel:
I use fruit snacks from the supermarket. I also like fruit leather, if you have it nearby (try the health food section at your supermarket), and in times when I can find them on sale I use Clif Shot Bloks. Make sure anything you get tucks into your pocket or fuel belt. It's not much fun to carry them the whole time. You really only need this if you're running for more than an hour.

I think that's it! My running gear solutions/recommendations. Remember, running makes you a runner, not a bunch of stuff, so if you can't or don't want to get all the things I've mentioned, you don't have to. Just remember to listen to your body and pay attention to anything that feels weird or off--knowing what all the twinges and aches mean will go a lot longer toward you having an enjoyable running life than any amount of gear ever could.

Congratulations! You're a runner!

Getting There

It's no secret I mostly travel by bike. It's faster than walking, more fun than taking the bus, and cheaper/happier/blood-pumping-er than driving. Despite being a reluctant car owner (I should have just had my sister put it in her name, really) for a few months now, I remain a transportation cyclist. Plus, bikes usually get better parking spots than cars (and wow, do I ever hate hunting for a parking space with the car).

Not what buses in Austin look like.

However. Sometimes it's so freeing to just take transit. Especially when my destination is downtown--I take something to read en route, and at the other end I just hop off and walk a block or two to my destination. No bike lock, no parking space, no traffic jams, just an easy trip.

Alas, not every trip is downtown. Not every trip can be laissez faire, I'll-get-there-when-I-get-there. People who rely on transit need it to get them to work, to the doctor, to the supermarket, and back home again in a reasonable amount of time.

Unfortunately, there are stigmas attached to public transportation in much of the U.S., including here in Austin, which have contributed to people not riding, or lack of funds for transit agencies, or both. Even more unfortunately, as long as transit is seen as 'for poor people' or taking money away from other forms of transportation-- or both-- it will likely remain underutilized, underfunded, and under-useful.

So, why talk about it here? Because I think the stigmas are silly. I think the aversions are overblown. I think people who complain every day about having to sit in traffic without even bothering to research solutions maybe need a gentle reminder that if they take the bus instead, they can at least get some working or reading or listening to music done while someone else drives, which might get their workday off to a less stressful start.

I would love for public transportation to always show up on time and go all over the place, for the sake of those who have no choice and for those who do, so that it's the easy transportation choice when someone just doesn't want to hunt for a parking space. I don't know how we get there from here. But I wish we would.

2016 Reading Challenges

I posted this pic in October & STILL
haven't finished all of them. Sigh...

In keeping with my goal to read 100+ books this year, I've decided to join a few reading challenges around the interwebs beyond my usual Goodreads Challenge. If you're looking for some extra reading motivation, join me in a couple of these:

I Love Libraries Reading Challenge
I'm starting out with a goal of "Young adult - 24". This will probably go up as the year progresses, since about 90% of my books come from the library; however, in case I really get going on the Mount TBR Challenge below, I'm playing it safe with my library use.

Who am I kidding? My librarians know me by name, in a city with nearly one million people, for goodness' sakes. I'll be surpassing this goal in no time. Anyway, part of the signup is to share why I love libraries, but gosh, what's not to like? Free books (both a budget-friendly and an earth-friendly option!), internet access, journal access--I love that one!, and just a happy place to hang out. Libraries are treasures.

Read it Again, Sam
I re-read. I re-read a lot. However, I made the decision a couple years ago to not include re-reads in my Goodreads total, so everything I do for this challenge is on top of my 100+ goal I already set. That being the case, I'm going with "Déjà vu: Reread 4 books" as my initial goal.

Woman Challenge
This one is a no-brainer. I am a woman who would like to be a published author, so if I can't manage to read women's works for at least one in five of my books this year, what am I even doing? Therefore, I'm going for the highest level on this challenge, "Level 4: WONDER WOMAN - read 20+ books written by a woman author".

The challenge host has asked participants to list their three favourite women writers, so off the top of my head I'm going with Jane Austen, Laura Wilder, and J.K. Rowling.

Mount TBR Challenge
Most of my TBRs that I own (a requirement for this challenge) are e-books, and fairly low (most of them) on my priority list. Still, it would be nice to move some of them to the "read" column, so I'm setting my goal for this one as "Pike's Peak: Read 12 books from your TBR pile/s". I especially appreciate that for this challenge, if I decide a book is not for me, it still counts as being moved off the TBR mountain. That's the only thing I use unfinished books for!

Are you participating in any reading challenges in 2016? Any of these strike your fancy? (If you want even more challenges, Bev at My Reader's Block has quite a nice list for you to check out.)

Hello (a little late), 2016

I'll try to have twice as much fun in
2016 so you're not missing out on
too much, sweetheart, but I draw the
line at making that face.

Y'all, I really don't like living in a year that Chadwick never lived in. (Yes, the anniversary is coming up. More on that anon.) It kind of sucks.

I guess this is what passes for a New Year's Resolution post around here. So, some goals I've set for 2016:

1. Run the Indy Mini in May.
This race has been on my bucket list since I was 20. It's basically the reason that I started running again after a long hiatus after middle school. But ever since I worked up to running a half marathon distance, the timing has never worked out for me to be in Indianapolis on Mini day. This year, ladies and gents. I am registered, I am paid, and it will take an act of God to keep me from finishing that race.

2. Eat the correct nutrients to fuel the running/riding/etc.
I hesitate to say this is a diet, but the fact is that middle age is coming for me and I'll be a lot better prepared to meet it, health-wise, if I eat less chocolate and more veggies. And I love veggies, as it happens, so it's not really a hardship.

3. Arrive everywhere early enough to get in at least five minutes of writing.
So, from time to time an article appears on the internet about whether chronic tardiness is the worst vice ever. While I'm really not willing to engage on this, I am of the opinion that it is not the worst (I mean, surely being a vicious gossip, or chronically unkind, or someone who steals things, or many other things, are worse), but I would still like to arrive places in plenty of time to pull out my WiP and get some words out ahead of my meeting/coffee/etc. (The fact that it's courteous is a nice bonus.) Which leads me to...

4. Write every day.
I want to finish Sybil's story in 2016, and that's just not going to happen unless I put in serious writing time, even on days when the well is dry. And also...

5. Take on some writing I wouldn't normally do.
Whether for work or just to stretch my writing muscles, I'd like some new writing challenges in 2016. I already have one in front of me for the next couple of weeks, courtesy of my friend Bill, and I'm excited for the change of pace.

6. Read 100+ books.
After a couple years of only managing about 50, thanks to grad school and other life things, I want to get my reading back on track this year. My to-read list is long and it's not getting any shorter. By the way, are you on Goodreads? Let's be friends.

These are pretty modest goals compared to some of my more ambitious years, but since I'm only just struggling to get back on my feet after 2015 slammed me into the ground, I'm cool with it.

What about you? What are some of your goals for this year?

Resolved: Don't Give Up

The cover of the journal where I found
this quote this morning.

"In any case you mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat." -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

This is my note of encouragement to those who may already be struggling to keep New Year resolutions, or meet any other goals you've set, and are feeling like the finish line is way too far away-- don't give up. Setbacks happen, but you are stronger than they are.

Best Books of 2015

The promised list of my favourite books of 2015! Please note, these are books I read in 2015, not necessarily ones published in 2015. I'm not that fancy.

Image from Michelle Seixas
 on freeimages.com.

So most years I have a couple of books that stand out in my mind as outstanding, and for 2015 that book is Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. If you do any writing at all, it needs to be on your to-read list.

Before I get to the rest of my list, since Friday is usually (ish) my green living day, here's your reminder to make use of your local library and used bookstores for your reading needs. The problem I run into here (and I suspect many of you do, too) is that of course we all want to support the authors who write the books. Balancing a limited book-buying budget and a desire to live as lightly on the earth as possible with the equal desire to honor the work of talented writers whose words I enjoy requires planning and thought.

Here's what works for me:

1. I make use of the library or free Kindle books first, always. If I haven't read something by the author before, I don't buy the book.
2. However, if I do love a book and can possibly fit it into my budget, I do--again, to show my appreciation for the author's hard work at creating something spectacular.
3. Once I know I like an author, I have no qualms about purchasing subsequent books by the same author (although it isn't automatic--the purchase does still have to fit into my budget).
4. When I have to make a choice budget-wise, I try to buy books by less well-known authors over bestselling, famous, or otherwise wildly popular authors. 
5. I put all of my rules on a shelf when I walk into a one of those "all books 50¢" sales, where I just go wild with choosing the prettiest covers and most enticing blurbs until I run out of money. Even worse are the Friends of the Library sales where you can load up an entire paper bag for a couple dollars. I can do some damage at those events.

Anyway! Your mileage may vary. So, the rest of my Best Reads of 2015 list (in order of when I read them):

A Life in Stitches: Knitting My Way through Love, Loss, and Laughter, Rachael Herron

Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card

The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd

All My Friends are Dead, Avery Monsen and Jory John

Best of reading to you in 2016!