Actually, I'm not. I didn't really know what a "Mrs. Malaprop" is until I Googled it a moment ago, and found out that I've been using the expression incorrectly for a while. What I mean to say is, I'm really bad at pronouncing a word the first
In the meantime, my family and friends get a lot of enjoyment out of my difficulty with new words. At least I'm brave enough to try saying it, I say; they never answer because they are usually rolling on the ground laughing. (I'm often tempted to jab them with my umbrella.) Generally, if it is an English word in question, I put the accent on the wrong syllable, as in the case of "vicar", which I pronounced as "vie-car" for a year before someone stopped laughing long enough to correct me. With words that aren't English, Spanish, or Scots Gaelic (for all of which I at least have the basic tools for pronunciation), I just wildly swing for it and hope I land in the neighbourhood. The only problem with this approach is that I'm wrong about nine times out of four.
Even worse is when I know none of the words on the menu:
I: What's call-bus-chin-tzel?
Waiter (patiently): It's veal.
I: Oh. How about sour-brat-in?
Waiter (sighs): Pot roast.
I: Okay. What is cart-o-fill-puf-fer?
Waiter (rolls his eyes): What?
I (pointing at menu): That.
Waiter: Ah. Kartoffelpuffer. It's a potato pancake.
I (sensing that he is now expecting a rather large tip): I'll have that, thank you.
Waiter: Very good, mein frau. (runs away before I can ask what that means)
No, I'm better off at restaurants that have a life-size stick-on skeleton on the door and plastic Jack-O'-Lanterns glowing on the counters at this time of year. The places where they ask, "Would you like fries with that?" and the only words I need to know are "I'll have a number three, please." I can already say all of those words.
What a strange blog post, no? That's because it's in response to the Second Crusader Challenge. Think you would like a shot at it? Head on over to Rach Writes and see what the fuss is all about. And to check out the winner of the last Crusader Challenge, click here.