It's Getting Reel

Housewarming gift (garden warming?)
from a friend. I love it.

Since I completely abandoned theme days a couple months back, it's totally okay for me to blog about green living-ish things on a Saturday, yes? Of course it is.

So, we moved house (yes, again) at the end of April, and this time we're in a proper house. With a yard. I haven't lived in a proper house since I was 21, y'all. And while we could have paid someone else to continue maintaining our yard, I wasn't down with that and decided to do it myself, because...

I chased this guy around the tree
to get his picture! He was not impressed.

... I've dreamed for years of owning one of those reel push mowers. No gasoline, no motor, just my own calories being burned to cut the grass to reasonable levels. Unfortunately, between me finishing grad school, both Denise and me trying to unpack, and the relentless rain we've been having in Central Texas, we've only managed to cut the grass once since owning the mower. And that was Denise who mowed (Denise who has never dreamed about owning a push mower, but as with so many other things, has been swept along in this particular adventure whether she wanted to be or not. It's dangerous being my sister), because I was writing papers and stuff.

Any ideas what these are? Can I
put them on my cereal without any
ill effects?

This morning, after we managed to go about 24 hours without any new rain, I decided the grass was as dry as it was likely to get and hauled the mower out to make my yard look less like a tropical rainforest in the making. I gotta tell you, someone along the way has made some curious landscaping choices in this yard, including a line of rocks through the middle--whatever the rock line used to contain is long gone, so now I just have this weird set of rocks that make it really hard to mow the middle.

And there are sticks. Lots and lots of sticks. Reel mowers don't do well with sticks, as both Denise and I have discovered.

And there's a tree in front of the house that has dropped a few small branches into the flowerbed that lines the front, and I guess no one ever went in after them until today, when I dragged them out.

Does it look better? Probably not. I doubt anyone will be featuring this house on Curb Appeal any time soon.

Who else is doing yard work this weekend?

Saturdays

Yesterday morning I had a work event to go to, so I rolled out of bed and strolled past my neglected homework on the way out the door. Because why wouldn't my work have two events during the final weekend of my semester when I'm trying to write two papers and pass this thing? (I'm not really blaming my boss. He had no say in the timing of either of these events. And I knew that this was exactly what I was signing up for when I decided to work for a nonprofit.)

The group on a mid-ride stop. Image 
grabbed from Senator Ellis' twitter feed 
(he's the gent in the middle
with the colourful jersey).

So the event was a 10-mile bike ride with some legislative interns, which is always fun, even for me who hates group rides. (It makes me nervous to bike alongside that many people, but I can deal.) After getting them all biked up and ridden around and our equipment put away, I had a couple of office-y things to do before I locked the doors and rolled off...

... to the Farmers Market. Yep, I had errands to run after the ride. All told, here's what I did:

• Got stopped at an intersection because of a pro-legalisation march in the middle of town
• Bought eggs at the Farmers Market
• Picked up a book at the library
• Rode through the Capitol grounds while the pro-legalisation group was demonstrating (they were not handing out samples, I'm afraid)
• Stopped by the rummage sale at church
• Figured out how to watch a video on UK's Channel 4 even though I'm in the US (with a lot of help from my friends) (and I still haven't had time to watch it, but it's on my to-do list)
• Went grocery shopping
• Finished one of my grad papers, even though I had to stay up to 4:30 AM to do it

Pic taken with my allegedly smart
phone. I got really lucky with the
dancing marijuana leaf.

I gotta tell y'all, I really underestimated the value of having someone in my house who was willing to do a lot of this stuff for me. It's been a while since I've had to do everything for myself. But! One paper to go, and I am DONE with this grad school thing. And there's nothing not to like about that. I'm looking forward to spending a Saturday soon just laying around with books and cups of tea and possibly some bon-bons.

In More Ways Than One

This is the graphic I usually use when
I write about being a non-trad. I've
used it for so long I can't remember
where I got it.

Many, many times in the course of the last five years, I've talked about the fun involved in being a non-traditional student. That mostly went away when I started grad school, since going to grad school in your mid-30s is not that unusual, but it's not like I've forgotten that a good chunk of my friends and acquaintances in Austin are 12-15 years younger than I. (I've tried to forget. I don't actually like thinking about the differences between us. But the differences come up sometimes.)

So it's been on my mind the past couple of months that not only did I do college weird, but I also made it weird for others. I don't know why I didn't think about this before now. I probably should have figured it out, given the number of questions about long-term relationships that I used to field on a daily basis, or the time one of my classmates said during a TV-centered conversation, "You watch Friends? But that's our parents' show!" and I had to lie down.

But obviously Peak Weird (God, please let this be the peak!) for my college friends was reached a couple of months ago, when the post-college whirl of engagements and weddings was interrupted by the news that one of their classmates had lost a spouse. When so many of my young friends are still undecided about whether a long-term commitment to one person is even something they're interested in, this happens.

And I would be remiss if I didn't give my UT friends all the credit and kudos in the world, because the outpouring of support and kindness I've received from them is just as real and heartfelt and thoughtful and appreciated as it has been from every other group of friends I've managed to collect. Some of them came to the funeral. Some sent cards. One of them took the time to find just the right poem that she thought would lift my spirits (it did). All of them have sent text messages or Facebook messages or phone calls that have brightened my day and reminded me of just how blessed I have been in this chapter of my life, the chapter called "college," the one I'm finally leaving behind after this weekend.

But the point is, you're not supposed to be summoned to a classmate's spouse's funeral a couple years after graduating college. That's just not the way it's meant to be... and yet it happens. And while I would rather have not been non-traditional in this particular sense, had I been given the choice, I don't think I'd trade all the other senses of the word for anything.

It's Bike Month!

Want one of these? Find it here. 

What does that mean for me? Not a freaking thing, because I'm surrounded by boxes and still have three papers due before we call this semester done.

But I'll at least ride my bike to work with a slightly bigger smile than usual, because MOVE OVER, EVERYBODY, THIS IS MY MONTH! Or something.

Also, it's Bike to Eat Week in Austin! And there's nothing not to like about that.

"Packing is for leaving. To stay you have to un!"

Denise (my sister, for those not keeping score at home) mentioned this brilliant quote from M*A*S*H season 1, episode 3 while we were unpacking this weekend. There's a lot of un in our future. And that's after getting rid of a lot of stuff prior to the move. How do people manage to collect so much stuff, especially people who spend as much time at home as we do?

(I added "green living" as a tag on this post, mostly to emphasize how much it's not. :/)

Our books & DVDs right now. I may never see them again.

Time (Or: Please Send Chocolate)

This doesn't have anything to
do with my post, unless it's me
burning the candles at both
ends. All the candles.

So, just in case anyone was wondering: final semester of grad school + legislative session + moving is just a bad combination, even if you don't add in being really sad. (Although, obviously, I do.) Throw in friends coming to town (yay!) and going to the theatre twice in three days (stress relief, obvs) and you just have a recipe for disaster.

I'm beginning to understand why some people turn to substances for help with coping. (I'm not doing that; no need to stage an intervention. Yet.)

I'm posting this during a 10-minute break in class. Time to head back. See you after I graduate.

Easter

So today was both the most depressing and also the most joyous Easter I can remember.

Source: osmar01 on
freeimages.com.

Let's start with the easy one. When Chadwick & I went looking for a church a few years ago, high on my "must-have" list was that the worship service had to be joy-filled. I was tired (and still am) of churches that have a joyless, lifeless worship service that may as well be a funeral. If that's your cup of tea, great, but it's not mine.

We were successful at finding a church that's filled with joy, by the way, and today the church was especially so, and for that I am thankful.

But it was also very sad today. Sundays have just been hard for the past six weeks, and are likely to remain so for the foreseeable future. I've been warned that holidays will be extra-hard, but honestly? We've never been holiday people. It's not like today was our anniversary. It was just sad, like every other Sunday has been, and I only take special note because, as I said, it was the most depressing Easter I can remember.

Also, I made these for the Easter brunch at church, and they were a huge hit. You should make some. (The person I was sitting with for breakfast, when I described the steps: "But how did you get them to stay rolled up?" Me: "I don't know.")

He is risen, indeed.

Final Portfolio #GradSchoolProblems

I'm working on my final portfolio for my grad program, which is technically now late, just like everything else I'm supposed to have turned in over the last four weeks. Well, longer than that, I guess, because I got behind when I went to Indiana for my grandmother's funeral in early February.

I'm literally only carrying on with this right now because my options are to be done in two months or be done in nine months. Send positive vibes, cookies, chocolate, caffeine, prayers, etc.

Casual Conversations

So, here's the thing I want to say to everyone right now but don't always have a chance to say in conversation: It's okay to be awkward around me right now. I've been in a swirling vortex of awkward conversations for a month with no end in sight, and I'd rather my friends talk to me while awkward than stay away for fear of saying something dumb.

Source.

Trust me, if you're my friend, it's probably because you say things that are dumb. That's why I like you so much. This is no time to get self-conscious about that.

So those of you who are lurking and afraid to say anything (yes, I'm looking at you. You know who you are): Knock it off. Say something. We'll still be friends afterwards, no matter how awkward it is.

(And if you're wondering why I'm not starting the conversation myself-- I'm trying. Really, I am. But I can barely hang on to my own personality right now, and there's a good chance I'll forget who it was I was looking at before I even hit 'publish' on this post. We're still friends, but I'm hanging on by my fingertips and need you to help me out on this one.)

I'm Just Not That Good at Alphabetizing

I grabbed one of the A to Z badges
while I was poking around. 'S' for Su,
in case that wasn't abundantly obvious.

Just saw someone post about the A to Z Challenge, which is about to begin on April 1, and which I strongly encourage all bloggers to participate in, because it's fun and a great way to find lots of awesome blogs you may have never seen before.

As for me... Well, I still haven't finished last year's Challenge. I left off at Q and then was sucked into the swirling vortex that is the end of the semester, and... well. I have since knocked out an R post. Eventually I'll finish the rest, but it won't be during the A to Z Challenge. I won't be doing Camp NaNoWriMo this time around, either, to my own great regret. I have a hard enough time right now finishing the things I'm already obligated to do without giving myself more things to keep track of.

So, A-to-Z-ers, have a great time. Not an A-to-Z-er yet? Sign up now! It's fun! Maybe I'll be back with you next year.

Look What I Found on the Internet

This went rolling across my Twitter feed yesterday. It's now hanging on the wall of my office:

Source: @myerman on Twitter. I don't know where he found it.

Sounds about right. Cup of tea and all.

How It Has to Be

I can't believe my husband and Terry Pratchett would leave me within three weeks of each other like this.

But there's this quote from Soul Music, the first Terry Pratchett book I ever read, that has gotten me through other crappy times (although none as crappy as this, I have to say):

You could say to the universe, this is not fair. And the universe would say: Oh, isn't it? Sorry.
You could save people. You could get there in the nick of time. And something could snap its fingers and say, no, it has to be this way. Let me tell you how it has to be.
― Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

So, on I go.

This is my favourite Terry Pratchett book so far, but I'm nowhere near
having read them all. So I may change my mind.
Image from Goodreads, and while you're there, you should check
out all the rest of Terry Pratchett's books.

In My Mailbox: Something I'm In Edition

So, this arrived today:

Want a copy of this book? It's really quite good as a reference,
even without my essay in it. Get it on Amazon here. And if you
want to shop Amazon Smile supporting the Texas Bicycle Coalition,
that'd be okay, too. 

It's a college textbook. To be more specific, it's the latest edition of a textbook that was required for a class I took at my final semester at UT, and the major difference between this edition and the edition I was supposed to buy in the spring of 2012 (totally didn't buy it. I borrowed a classmate's all semester long) is this: I HAVE AN ESSAY IN THIS BOOK.

Yep, after the assignment that's in here, my instructor (John J. Ruszkiewicz, the first name on the cover there) said he thought my essay was better than the one that was in that edition of the textbook and asked if he could use mine in the next edition. I managed not to shriek, "YES! ARE YOU KIDDING? OF COURSE!" when I agreed. I just didn't expect the next edition to come out this fast.

I admit I did wait until used copies appeared on Amazon before I bought a copy, because textbooks are freakishly expensive (sorry, Dr. Ruszkiewicz). And after my initial shrieking and jumping up and down and posting on Facebook that I did earlier, I took a closer look at the index & saw that some of my classmates are also in this edition, which of course makes me all kinds of happy. I already read one of their essays and will eventually make my way through the others.

If you want to read the essay without buying the book, you can read it on Google books here (click on the top result). It's about women running marathons. I know, I know, big surprise.

Oh, yeah, the Austin Half

I meant to post an Austin Half Marathon recap, but that got pushed way off my list, I'm afraid.

Before the race. This was taken seconds
after Chadwick asked if I had lost my
mind. The photographer stopped us as
we were headed to gear check and asked
if we wanted our picture taken.
(Also, this is not a copyright violation.
Our dear friend Ruth bought our race
photos for me in lieu of flowers. I'm free
to use this image here.)

Here's the gist: they went back to an older version of the course, similar to the one I ran in 2009 and 2010, and I loved it. Every inch of it, except for the pretty boring stretch on Lake Austin Boulevard where there's not a lot of crowd support and also not a lot of interesting things to look at. I mean, I love trees as much as the next gal, but even I can only be enraptured by so many before wanting to see something else. (Here's the course map, for the extra-curious.)

It's weird, thinking about that day now. I didn't run with Chadwick-- he wasn't trained for it, so he started the race planning to DNF at about mile 2, which is exactly what he did--but we spent the rest of the day together. I don't remember what we talked about. I don't think we did anything else but run a race and then sit on a couch. And get some In-n-Out.

Before the race, though, when I was in pre-race crazy mode, he asked me if I had lost my mind, and I asked him if he'd forgotten what I'm like on race day. It had been a while since we'd stood at a start line together.

My next race is the Cap10K in April, and I'll be running it alone.

Anyway, the half marathon medal this year was really ugly, by usual Austin Marathon standards. The day that Chad died, a bunch of the younger folks from church came over and spent the evening in my living room, and we passed around the medal. Some of them didn't believe that it was ugly until I got out one of my old ones by comparison, and then they obliged my feelings by making fun of the ugly one.

I haven't decided yet what I'll do with the race medals and numbers Chad managed to collect over the years. I have some ideas. But I'm not in a hurry to make that decision. They are made of durable metal, and I have faith that having lasted in our possession this long, they will remain for a while longer while I think of something to do with them.

I Didn't Mean to Greet the Day Like This

Do the wee hours even count as day? I mean, this is still night, right? With apologies to those who work night shifts-- this is supposed to be sleeping time.

My iPad clock when I started writing
this. It also said it was 84° outside,
which was obviously crazy, so I turned
that off before I took the screenshot.

I thought, after a few sleepless nights, that maybe my body could get back at least into this much of a rhythm. I know, I know. Expecting too much too soon. I'm really good at unrealistic expectations. (See also: Grad School, Ease of.)

So here I am at nearly 1:30 AM, debating whether to watch Torchwood or House. I blame tonight's bout of sleeplessness on the mysterious noise I heard earlier, that for just a second I thought was Chad coming to bed. But that's just one of a thousand reasons for my brain to be up right now. I can't erase those reasons long enough to drop off.

Long Way from Normal

Chadwick cosplaying as Enjolras at the
 2013 Austin NaNoWriMo kickoff party.

There's no good way to break this news: I lost my beloved Chadwick to a pulmonary embolism a week ago.

A few weeks ago, I was hoping to get back in the groove of blogging. Now, I'm not even sure when I'll get back into the groove of living. People keep talking about how eventually I'll find my "new normal"-- I've said it myself a few times-- but that's a long way away still.

We were married for 13 years, 1 month, and 17 days. I don't remember what it was like without him there. I don't know what the next days and weeks and months will be like.

And I don't know if I'll be blogging any of this journey to my new normal. But if I don't, just know that I'm still here, somewhere, trying to put one foot in front of the other.

Signs You Moved Away from Greenfield, Indiana

I just got back to Austin after an emergency trip home for a funeral, and while I doubt this post will be interesting to anyone else, it's what was on my mind the last few days. So! A few indicators that you grew up in Greenfield, but moved away a while ago:

The old-old library in my hometown. Where I learned to love
the smell of books. Source.

1. When people say something about "the old library," you still think of the one on North Street and not the one by the high school.

2. Speaking of the high school, what have they done to the parking lot? Or the door you used to always use?

3. And hey, look, it has two stories now! You finally have a use for that elevator pass you bought when you were a freshman.

4. You act surprised when someone suggests Dairy Queen in the winter. It was better when it was seasonal, obviously.

5. You still say you're going to "Reasners" or "3D," if you're ever so mad as to go to whatever is there now.

6. Lincoln Park is apartments now? Cool. Pity it's for old folks. I'm definitely not retiring anywhere this cold.

7. Okay, the Pennsy Trail is awesome, but it was more fun going through here when it wasn't allowed.

8. Are roundabouts the new crop circles?

9. Don't even bother going to Riley Park. The good slide is long gone.

And finally...
10. You're surprised that all four clocks on the courthouse display the same time.

Okay, my life in Greenfield was a bit dull. Bet some of my high school classmates could come up with a considerably more, ahem, interesting list.

What are some quirks of people who grew up in your hometown?

R is for Rings and Ramona

I was going to make this a Teaser Tuesday post and then remembered that I'm not currently reading anything that I'd like to share. So instead, I think I'll finally pick up where I left off in the A to Z Challenge last April, which is... Letter R. It's a tie for two series:

The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien

If you haven't read it yet, I can't imagine what you could possibly be waiting for.








And...

Ramona Quimby, Beverly Cleary

My first encounter with Portland wasn't its bike culture or its coffee, or even its awesome bookstore Powell's (none of which I've actually laid eyes on, btw, but that's totally beside the point), but instead it was Ramona.







What's your favourite 'R' book?

It Will, In Fact, Calm Up

Maybe I need to rethink my theme days. I literally thought, "What are some things I like to write about?" and then wrote those things down on my front page. Intentionality, it seems, is not my strong point.

I can't get over how much I love that
there are things called "chilling stations".
Unfortunately, I need to be a little less
chill.

But this week it has to be. The semester is back into full swing, and I can't hide behind denial any longer. I'm running the Austin Half Marathon in two weeks' time (yeah, I KNOW, I just did that a week ago-- the race calendar in Austin needs an attitude adjustment). My house is filling up with unanswered mail and my container garden sits on the balcony sadly neglected-- two plants need topping up with fresh new soil from my composter, three more need repotting, and one sad dead basil plant needs removing.

The only way to get it all done and make sure that my husband remembers what I look like is to be intentional. I have a laid-back deal-with-it-as-it-comes approach to life, that's all well and good sometimes but leads to elevated blood pressure all the rest of the time. "Maybe I'll just read this fanfiction for a few minutes before I go to sleep," for example, is not the greatest way to either enjoy fanfiction or get enough sleep.

So! Running. Homework. Work work. Blogging. Sorting through the dang mail. It's all on the list and I need to get on it.

What are you being intentional about this week?

(If you read this post hoping for a Stargate thing based on the title-- sorry.)

3M Half: I got some free tape

Yep, I got one of these. It's shiny.
Source: 3M Half Marathon Facebook page

If you're not familiar with the 3M Half Marathon, brought to us by the people who make Post-It notes and therefore pretty much rule my life, here's the short version: It's a fast, fun downhill course and they hand out the best swag bags the world has ever seen. ("Swag" = "Stuff we all get" in this usage.)

Chadwick and I were up dark and early on Sunday morning because he had to be in his course marshal position by 6:35, and that spot was a few miles from the start line where I needed to be, so after watching Andy Murray lose a set over my pre-race oatmeal & tea (he went on to win the match, for those not keeping track), I gathered up all my race paraphernalia and out we went.

The race was great, punctuated with a few memorable moments-- some people from church had organized themselves to come out and cheer, so I stopped for hugs at miles 6 and 11 (and mile 7, where my über-race-volunteer husband was stationed). I know the crowd support was excellent, although truthfully the only sign I remember was a guy who was dressed like a pirate with a sign that read, "Run Your Booty Off!" And he was shouting encouragement in Pirate. This guy also went above & beyond-- he was at mile 5, presumably until everyone went by, then he drove down to the finish line and stood there until everyone finished. I hope they gave him a medal.

Oh, and there was a bagpiper at mile 1 who was murdering "Scotland the Brave." I think he was running out of breath by the time I passed, but it made me all kinds of sad. If you must murder something on the bagpipes, stay away from "Scotland the Brave" and "Amazing Grace."

As far as my own race went-- I ran faster than I thought I would, so I finished all kinds of happy. As a bonus, my body has figured out how to deal with this stuff now, so my legs are all well and recovered enough for me to do a long run later today. (I usually do those on Saturday, but we're promised a downpour this weekend, so... no, I think I can squeeze it in today.)

And that's the game! My next half is just over two weeks away, at the Austin Marathon and Half Marathon presented by I can't even remember who. I just know it's not Livestrong any longer. (If you click that link, watch the entire slideshow on the front page. Totally worth it.)

Presuming the rest of you aren't running 10 miles this afternoon-- what fun things do you have planned for today? (Or tomorrow, or whenever?)