I could be having THIS conversation...

So, all that to say... I'm going to orientation even though it isn't required. Yipee!

And, unlike my 18-year-old peers, I'm not bringing the whole family with me.

I can picture it now; we'd be walking along, I'd be trying to navigate the construction sites on campus to tell them what they were looking at, they'd have questions of all sorts... It would be fabulous.

Kinda.

I: And there's the clock tower. It chimes every 15 minutes.

Kids: Can we go up in it?

I: No, it's closed for repairs right now.

Chad: Do you want to find your classes?

I: Yeah. Denise was figuring out where they are.

Denise: We need to go this way (points & starts walking in the correct direction).

Dad: I want to go up in the tower.

Kids: Can I see the map now?

I: (Handing over a map) You can't; it's closed right now because they are fixing the A/C.

Mum: Do you need to go take care of your financial aid?

Chad: No, let me see the map! (Takes it from the kids.)

I: No, Chad & I already did that.

Dad: Like hell it is! I'm paying for you to go to school here! I'm going to go see it.

I: No, you aren't.

Dad: What?

Chad: We're paying for her to go to school here.

Dad: Oh, yeah.

Mum: Well, do your dad & I need to go talk to them?

I: To whom?

Mum: The financial aid people.

I: No, it's taken care of.

Mum: Do you need to give them our information?

I: No, I'm too old to need that.

Billy: Where's the beer?

I: There isn't any on campus. Moving right along... over here is the--

Billy: What?

Jennie: Half the students are underage! They can't sell beer.

Mum: Are you sure? I brought our financial information along in case you would need it.

I: I'm over 24, and they only need parental information for people under 24. So it's okay.

Grandma: Susan, let your mom help you!

Dad: Isn't that the tower where that guy shot all those people in the '60s?

I: Yes, Dad, well remembered. Grandma, it's not me, it's the federal government.

Grandma: I don't want you to go to school here if people get shot all the time!

I: No, Grandma, it was just that one time. They have better security now.

Mum: So you don't need us to do anything.

I: You can buy lunch.

Dad: I'm going in to tell them I'm going up to see the tower. (Marches off.)

Mum: Should we wait around to see if he gets arrested?

I: Nope.

Jennie: Where's Denise?

(Denise is already at the building she started walking toward five minutes ago.)

I: There she is.

Should you think I am exaggerating, please remember that it took this family four hours to decide to have a Memorial Day picnic. Yeah, that's what it would be like.

Maybe the whole tour can finish up here & we can pose for a picture, after we have a good argument about who will hold the camera.